I’ve always wanted to write a blog. My mom blogs, my friends blog. I started one a while ago then deleted it a few hours later. For some reason I was always afraid. What if no one ever reads it? What if I sound stupid? Who cares. I’m tired of being afraid of everything, that’s no way to live life.
Right? Right.
So how did we get here now? A few days ago I got a text from a friend who asked if I’d like to write an entry for her super amazing blog collaboration (check them out here!). My first thought? “No, no, no way. Why the heck would anyone want to listen to me about delighting in my reflection of God’s beauty, and the freedom that brings? THATS WHAT IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HERE!”
My second thought? Maybe I could do this, my friend thinks I can do it, Jesus thinks I can do it. Even though this is my weakest area in my walk with Christ, it can still be used for His glory. In the quietest part of me I heard a gentle reminder “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 cor. 12:9) I had prayed those same words in a prayer group the night before. Less than 24 hours before, I asked Jesus to teach me what it meant to love, and lead, out of my weakness. Boy did He get right on that.
I could repeat Bible verses until I'm blue in the face about how we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are the dawn of creation made in the divine image of the God of the Universe. We have a savior that has conquered every sin, and temptation in my life and ultimately death itself. He alone brings freedom to the nations. I know this. They aren't asking for a list of memory verses. They are asking for a story. My story of how God's Word intersected with the chaos, lies, and sin of my life and made something beautiful. Somewhere in my heart this is where the disconnect is. There is still a 50/50 chance that instead of holding fast to what I know, the truth and freedom of the love of God, I buy into the lies the mirror likes to tell me. I listen a little too long to echoes of the critical voices from memory. After that I don't feel like I'm beautiful, or free. I don't feel life my story is worth sharing, there isn't a happily ever after where I skip into the sunset shimmery and graceful like Bella from Twilight. Then I remember that this is reality, not a fairytale. It's not actually a story about me, but a story about Jesus. I'm a work in progress and my life is a journey. One day I will enter into Paradise with Jesus and I will be absolutely perfect, free to love and be loved without an ounce of sin from a broken world. That day isn't today.
So heres to learning how to live a life by the grace of Jesus, leaving my own strive for perfection behind. And heres to second times around.
- Tori Lynn
My second thought? Maybe I could do this, my friend thinks I can do it, Jesus thinks I can do it. Even though this is my weakest area in my walk with Christ, it can still be used for His glory. In the quietest part of me I heard a gentle reminder “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 cor. 12:9) I had prayed those same words in a prayer group the night before. Less than 24 hours before, I asked Jesus to teach me what it meant to love, and lead, out of my weakness. Boy did He get right on that.
I could repeat Bible verses until I'm blue in the face about how we are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are the dawn of creation made in the divine image of the God of the Universe. We have a savior that has conquered every sin, and temptation in my life and ultimately death itself. He alone brings freedom to the nations. I know this. They aren't asking for a list of memory verses. They are asking for a story. My story of how God's Word intersected with the chaos, lies, and sin of my life and made something beautiful. Somewhere in my heart this is where the disconnect is. There is still a 50/50 chance that instead of holding fast to what I know, the truth and freedom of the love of God, I buy into the lies the mirror likes to tell me. I listen a little too long to echoes of the critical voices from memory. After that I don't feel like I'm beautiful, or free. I don't feel life my story is worth sharing, there isn't a happily ever after where I skip into the sunset shimmery and graceful like Bella from Twilight. Then I remember that this is reality, not a fairytale. It's not actually a story about me, but a story about Jesus. I'm a work in progress and my life is a journey. One day I will enter into Paradise with Jesus and I will be absolutely perfect, free to love and be loved without an ounce of sin from a broken world. That day isn't today.
So heres to learning how to live a life by the grace of Jesus, leaving my own strive for perfection behind. And heres to second times around.
- Tori Lynn
First comment yayay! (Oh the pressure! lol). No, but seriously this was beautiful Tory! I believe God has all set us on a journey where we are faced with trials to prepare in us a story to share to the world. I connected, SO MUCH, to what you have felt. I also feel intimidated to share my story, but I need a reminder it is not about me, but Jesus!People need to know who God is and what He has done. Many call out for a savior, and half of them fall into the lies of this world telling them their savior is here on earth. So, you are right it is about Jesus and bringing people to know the BEST and only true savior there is. I believe in you Tory :) and I know Jesus does even more! Thank you for sharing this because it inspired me, and I don't doubt it will others too.
Thank you Chels. (: